Archive for the ‘Smut’ Category

Worse things than rape

Posted: December 9, 2015 in Smut

I just read some 1 star reviews of my poem, 10 Things Worse than Rape.  For those of you who would like to read them, here is the direct link on Itunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/ten-things-worse-than-rape/id714747294?mt=11

I smiled as I read those negative reviews. Why? Because these ladies are why I wrote the poem to begin with.  Without fail, there will always be some female who thinks that having a dick shoved into her without her express approval is far worse than any other possible horrible outcome.  I will never be able to wrap my mind around a woman who feels this way.  Sex is not the worst thing that can happen.  If the rapist is violent, the beatings or torture would be far worse than the actual rape act.  If you don’t agree, stop thinking your pussy is lined with gold!

I just had some fun reading the reviews on Amazon. Of course I ignored the mindless 5 star reviews from the brainless bimbos who refuse to admit this story is crap, but the 1 star reviews are hilarious and pretty much say what my earlier post stated.  Many are justifiably asking for refunds!

Amazon 1 star reviews for Grey!

Here are my favorites:

“I was so excited about the book. I had to ask for a refund, I already paid once for the story, it’s like she copied the first book, and just changed a few words here and there. ust repeated the same thing.”

Um, were you expecting something else?  Like maybe Midnight Sun by Stephanie Meyer, where you are given a completely new story from a completely new POV?  Nah, I didn’t think so.  LOL

“Boring, boring, boring. This author does not care about her fan base, publishing this book was out of greed.”

EL James, greedy?  No, tell me it aint so!

“Horrible writing, but EL James is going to milk it as long as she can.”

Of course she will, when she has dim witted dip shits adding to her coffers.

“Completely repititous of original book but original book better writen. Added nothing insightful. Made CHristian sound like a whiner. Feel like this was only written to get more money.”

No, really? Tell me it isn’t so.

“I want proof that this is Christian Grey’s POV, because what I’ve read sounds like Anna’s Inner Goddess got snockered on some cheap booze, and possibly some bath salts.”

Proof? On a fictional character’s POV?  Really?

I could go on, but why bother?  It’s still #1 on Amazon, but hopefully that declines soon. This bitch is already richer than Midas thanks to you idiots.  I just can’t…

 

 

 

 

Ok, I guess pigs do have wings and hell has frozen over.  EL James made good with her threats on writing 50 Shades of Grey from Christian’s POV.  And here it is:  http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00Y6QF0PE

I can only hope that none of you who actually click this link will buy the book, since I won’t even get commission for it. DAMMIT!  But the thing that really irks me is that the greedy bitch has priced it at $9.99 (ETA lowered to $7.99) for the Kindle as well as the paperback. Like it costs as much to release it in ebook format as printing the fucking book?  OMG!  To make matters even worse, it’s currently #2, and I’m sure with all the sad sacks out there who like this rubbish, it will be #1 before its official release date of June 18th. That’s right. The damn thing isn’t even available right now, but the damn stupid bimbos are buying it up like it’s crack.

I hope that the majority of the morons who  will finally get inside the book Christian’s head will immediately realize their mistake and demand their refunds.  Luckily, Amazon does allow this for up to 2 weeks.  I know since I’ve seen some stingy shits doing that with my books on occasion. Luckily though more people keep the books than actually have the nerve to read it for free.

I for one didn’t even want to read the book from Ana’s POV, so I certainly don’t want to get inside the head of the monster Christian is on paper.  Write it based on the movie Christian, then I might be tempted!

6/3/15 ETA: UGH! It’s now #1 bestseller on Amazon!  What is the world coming to?!?!

1. I actually finished the movie. Can’t say that for the book.
2. The movie was loosely based on the book.  My inner goddess does back flips of joy!
3. No idiotic inner goddess or that other prudish glasses wearing conscience.
4. I actually liked the movie Christian.
5. I actually liked the movie Anastasia.
6. They got rid of all that crap about Ana not owning a computer or cellphone, though it was a flip-phone and the computer was “broken”.
7. They got rid of the punishment sex after Ana wouldn’t let Christian grope her under the table at his parents’ dinner.
8. They got rid of all the Holy Cow…holy crap…holy etc.  Holy hell, that was eye rollingly irritating.
9. Ana is actually funny in the movie.
10. EL James didn’t write the script.
11. I actually felt bad for Christian at the end, when he was afraid of losing Ana.
12. I actually felt bad for Ana at the end, when she realized she couldn’t handle his 50 shades of fuckedupness.
13. They didn’t include the infamous tampon scene (I gave up on the book right before this scene, thank GOD!)
14. Christian didn’t seem quite as creepy and stalkerish as in the book.
15. And last but certainly not least, the email correspondence between them was majorly (and I’m not joking here) majorly toned down.

I’m sure I could make it to 50 reasons, but it would get boring by then.  🙂  There is a lot to hate in the book, but not so much in the movie.  Except for when they stick close to the ending from the book, the movie is really good.  Ana’s sexual awakening is sexy to watch, and far more believable than in the book.  That Ana would climax if Christian breathed on her.  I’m sure I rolled my eyes more than she did.

I’ve decided to see if I can come up with 50 reasons:

16. The book Ana is stupid, while the movie Ana is quite clever.
17. The movie Christian doesn’t harp on what Ana eats.
18. Ana’s orgasms are more believable in the movie.
19. There’s less of Jose in the movie.
20. You don’t have to suffer through badly written prose.
21. The dialogue is better.
22. Ana in the movie wasn’t constantly afraid of upsetting Christian.
23. I wasn’t disgusted and pissed off as I watched the movie, like I was for the book.
24. Ana didn’t desert her mother the night Christian arrived in Georgia unannounced.
25. I didn’t hate the movie.

Well, I made it to 25.  I’ll add more as I think of them.  🙂

…you’re in the far right lane and at the very last second dart over three lanes of traffic to cut off the car in that lane to get on the freeway.

…you’re too busy talking on your cellphone to drive the speed limit.

…you spit or throw ANYTHING out of your car window.

…you cut someone off to steal a parking spot they were waiting for.

…you use the last of the toilet paper but don’t replace the roll.

…you drink the last cold community/family soda but don’t put more in the fridge to chill.

…your food makes a mess in the microwave but you don’t bother to clean it up.

…you drop something on the floor and leave it there.

…you leave your clothes everywhere but in the hamper.

…when pushing your grocery cart through the parking lot, you stay in the center of the aisle instead of either side, not caring you’re blocking cars driving through…and then glare at the cars behind you for getting too close.

…you speed up every time another car tries to pass you, and then slow back down once they get behind you.

Ever heard of Jeff Foxworthy’s “You might be a redneck, if…”?  Well, that’s inspired me to come up with “You might be an inconsiderate thoughtless ass, if…”  I’ve started the list at home and might illustrate it and turn it into a book if I can come up with enough of them.  Considering that the drivers on the road alone give me a bunch, that shouldn’t be too hard.  Here are a few that I can think of now:

You might be an inconsiderate thoughtless ass, if…

…it’s raining and/or foggy, and you drive with your headlights off.

…you’re in the checkout line at the grocery store and decide you don’t want that dairy item so you just leave it in the magazine rack to spoil.

…when walking in a public area, you weave back and forth, not caring if you cut off other people walking faster than you.

…while out with friends, you insist on frequently laughing loudly and obnoxiously, ignoring the glares of other patrons.

…while on a date, you spend more time texting on your phone than actually talking to your date.

…after changing your baby’s diaper in a parking lot, you leave the dirty one on the ground instead of throwing it in the trashcan.

…you throw your cigarette butts out the window of your car, not caring that you could start a forest fire.

 

Well, that’s it for now.  I might turn this into a weekly thing.  🙂

Enjoy!

I’ve been wanting to write about this for awhile.  Ever since I saw a comment on Facebook a few weeks ago, but I haven’t had the time to bring it up until now.  It is a debate I’ve been in plenty of times, so I’m surprised this argument never occurred to me before.  What prompted it and what is it about, you ask?  Public breastfeeding…

Now, before you jump to the comments and immediately attack me, I’m not saying there is anything wrong with breastfeeding your babies in public. I won’t even discuss the ridiculous women who insist on doing so with an unruly toddler who rips your shirt open to expose your whole chest to all those around you, since really, what’s the point?  No, I’m talking to those extremist breeders who deliberately do it, and hope someone is offended.  You know who you are.  The ones who hold nurse-ins if a manager dares tell a breastfeeding mother to cover up her exposed breast because other customers are offended.  Yes, you!

One of your ilk posted on Facebook, and I’m paraphrasing here: I’ll do whatever I want, and I don’t give a fuck if anyone else is embarrassed or offended.  Who cares what they think?

This comment got me thinking.  If we look at our civilized society, it is built on people being considerate of other people.  We shower so we don’t stink, since we’re so close to other people all day.  We chew gum or use mouthwash, so our breath doesn’t stink and offend others.  We chew with our mouths closed, so the food flopping around in our mouths doesn’t disgust other diners.  We cover our faces when we sneeze or cough, so our germs don’t get spread around to other people.  We try to say thank you and please to other people, since it’s common courtesy.

So, is that fool who posted that she would do whatever she wants, because she doesn’t care what anyone else thinks or how they feel, does she not do what everyone else does in our society? Does she not bathe, or brush her teeth, and chew with her mouth open, and sneeze and cough in others’ faces?  Somehow I doubt that. She was probably raised to do all this, since it’s common courtesy.  So how can common courtesy not come into play when you’re surrounded by a bunch of strangers who don’t want to see your tit?  Does having a baby change all the rules?  No, of course not. You can whine and complain all you want that your child doesn’t let you cover them, but I have never seen this situation. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, but I’m guessing you’re majorly exaggerating to further the control issue you have over this topic.  I have seen the extreme ugly side that extreme breast feeders have, and I want no part of it.  You give the rest of the women out there who breast feed a bad name.  You aren’t helping your cause with your ugliness and rudeness.

My mom always tells me, you get more bees with honey than with vinegar.