Archive for March, 2015

I checked my stats on Smashwords just now and got the shock of all time.  In the first two months of this year, over 6000 iPhone users have read my short parody poem about Christian Grey on the Apple store.  I even added up the other sales/views to verify that out of my 6408 sales/views, only 345 were for all my other books/stories/poems combined.  So during January and February 6063 lost souls must have searched and devoured anything related to Christian Grey, including my little humble poem.  Do you think they were disappointed to discover that I’m actually making fun of their messed up heartthrob? I really do snicker at the very thought.  For those who are curious and don’t want to waste your time looking for it, here is the link to the poem that you can read online:

Though I can’t resist posting a few of my favorite lines:

One orgasm after another, all it takes is a whisper.
If your lady doesn’t, then you’re doing it wrong, mister.

And this one too:

Other women want you all for themselves and their selfish greed,
but he’s mine, bitches, so back off or you’ll get kneed. 

I had a lot of fun writing this poem, so please check it out and see for yourself what the buzz is about.  🙂

March update: 3274 more views! Wow, it’s almost hit the 10,000 mark!


I’ve been wanting to write about this for awhile.  Ever since I saw a comment on Facebook a few weeks ago, but I haven’t had the time to bring it up until now.  It is a debate I’ve been in plenty of times, so I’m surprised this argument never occurred to me before.  What prompted it and what is it about, you ask?  Public breastfeeding…

Now, before you jump to the comments and immediately attack me, I’m not saying there is anything wrong with breastfeeding your babies in public. I won’t even discuss the ridiculous women who insist on doing so with an unruly toddler who rips your shirt open to expose your whole chest to all those around you, since really, what’s the point?  No, I’m talking to those extremist breeders who deliberately do it, and hope someone is offended.  You know who you are.  The ones who hold nurse-ins if a manager dares tell a breastfeeding mother to cover up her exposed breast because other customers are offended.  Yes, you!

One of your ilk posted on Facebook, and I’m paraphrasing here: I’ll do whatever I want, and I don’t give a fuck if anyone else is embarrassed or offended.  Who cares what they think?

This comment got me thinking.  If we look at our civilized society, it is built on people being considerate of other people.  We shower so we don’t stink, since we’re so close to other people all day.  We chew gum or use mouthwash, so our breath doesn’t stink and offend others.  We chew with our mouths closed, so the food flopping around in our mouths doesn’t disgust other diners.  We cover our faces when we sneeze or cough, so our germs don’t get spread around to other people.  We try to say thank you and please to other people, since it’s common courtesy.

So, is that fool who posted that she would do whatever she wants, because she doesn’t care what anyone else thinks or how they feel, does she not do what everyone else does in our society? Does she not bathe, or brush her teeth, and chew with her mouth open, and sneeze and cough in others’ faces?  Somehow I doubt that. She was probably raised to do all this, since it’s common courtesy.  So how can common courtesy not come into play when you’re surrounded by a bunch of strangers who don’t want to see your tit?  Does having a baby change all the rules?  No, of course not. You can whine and complain all you want that your child doesn’t let you cover them, but I have never seen this situation. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, but I’m guessing you’re majorly exaggerating to further the control issue you have over this topic.  I have seen the extreme ugly side that extreme breast feeders have, and I want no part of it.  You give the rest of the women out there who breast feed a bad name.  You aren’t helping your cause with your ugliness and rudeness.

My mom always tells me, you get more bees with honey than with vinegar.

Love is love?

Posted: March 16, 2015 in Smut, Uncategorized
Tags: ,

Warning: Rant ahead!

I cannot possibly be the only person who is tired of the phrase “Love is love”. I see it everywhere. A friend on Facebook posted it. I see it in memes, and in my favorite shows. I am about ready to choke the living shit out of the next person who says that to my face. Luckily, I don’t surround myself with people who would dare say such things to me, so I think a prison sentence isn’t in my near future.

Let’s break down what that phrase means, shall we? Love is love is used mostly by homosexuals in justifying their choice to screw the same sex. They throw love around, as if to take attention away from their deviant acts and make them sound pure, like the love a mother would have for her baby. Give me a break. Love is not love when you’re actually talking about sex. If you’re talking about the innocent love of something or someone else, then yes, love is love.

Feel free to love your children, pets, friends, family, cars, houses, clothes, shoes, etc. But if you throw sex into any of those, it can range from a bizarre fetish to downright illegal. So people please, I beg you, stop using that pathetic overused phrase when trying to justify your sexual deviance.

/end rant