Darker? Seriously?

Posted: April 14, 2018 in Smut
Tags: ,

I’m not sure why it surprised me to learn that EL James actually rewrote Fifty Shades Darker from Christian’s POV.  She rewrote the first one, so why not the whole trilogy?  I guess too many of the bimbos who devoured the trilogy from Ana’s POV demanded Christian’s POV.  I read a few of the reviews. The main one is from a deluded gal who chastises the critical reviews. Some of her comments are priceless:

Do you realize how difficult it is for James to come up with stuff? She had to mirror Ana’s POV and dialogue otherwise we’d have a different story. She was so generous to gift us with all of this because many of us loved this couple so much and always will. Be grateful people.

I actually snorted when I read this.  Good thing I wasn’t drinking at the time, or it would have sprayed the monitor.  Do you realize how difficult it is for James to come up with stuff? —  Seriously?  LMAO  — She had to mirror Ana’s POV and dialogue otherwise we’d have a different story.

This reviewer is clearly not a writer, or even that intelligent, if she thinks that any situation would be exactly the same from different points of view.  Yes, the time line would need to be the same and the interactions would need to be consistent, but the conversations would not need to be exactly the same or even regurgitated. I doubt Christian would have paid as much attention to what Ana was saying, as he thought about locking her up and whipping her.  No one hears the same thing, but of course James is going to go the easy route, even pasting all the emails.  Seriously?  The reader really needs to go through all those boring ass emails AGAIN?  A good writer would have found a better way to do it.  If you want to know how two identical stories can be original and new from differing POV’s, read the first 11 chapters of Twilight and then the uncompleted manuscript of Midnight Sun.  Stephanie Meyer KNOWS how to do it, though I doubt EL James cares that she doesn’t due to her ridiculously stupid fanbase. She’s still making bank.

She was so generous to gift us with all of this because many of us loved this couple so much and always will. Be grateful people. — This is when I snorted.  Generous?  Grateful?  EL James knows she has a cash cow from all you idiots, so she will keep churning out the same crap to get richer. Not because she’s generous, but because she’s lazy not to mention greedy.

For those of you who don’t want to read Twilight and Midnight Sun, I will give you a simple demonstration of a meal scene between Ana and Christian from their respective POV’s.

Ana’s POV:

“No, Christian, I don’t want to sign the contract until it’s been edited. Anal fisting and nipple clamps are hard limits.” 

I felt my cheeks get hot as his gaze shifted from my face to the plate before me. Oh my, was he going to complain about how little I’d eaten?  I swallowed the lump in my throat and bit my lower lip.  It took a moment to realize he’d spoken, so I only caught the tail end of his question. I shook my head, fighting the sigh as I realized what he’d asked, something with which he seemed overly obsessed. Rolling my eyes in frustration, I responded. “No, I’m not very hungry.”

The sides of his mouth twitched as his jaw tightened. I wish I could read his mind, because his features were too well schooled to know what he was thinking. His softly spoken but delayed response was my only clue that some internal battle was going on inside him.  Why couldn’t we have normal conversations, instead of harping on my appetite or whether or not we could fuck without involving whips and chains?

 “You don’t ever seem very hungry.”

I could barely make out the words, but his tone was strange. Like he was about to snap and do something crazy, but his civilized side was keeping that in check.  Stupidly I shrugged and bit my lip again. Realizing my error, I held my breath as his gaze darted to my mouth.  Oh my, was he going to punish me for that later? I quickly looked down at the plate and stabbed a green bean with my fork, hurrying to take a bite. Maybe if I ate my vegetables as requested, he would be appeased.

Christian’s POV:

She is so beautiful and fragile, but wild and stubborn.  I must tame her. Why can’t she see how much I need her? Her unwillingness to sign the contract was beyond frustrating.  The constant editing took more and more of my control away, and that was unacceptable.  How can I fully possess her, if she continues to make such ridiculous demands? Her mention of anal fisting and nipple clamps brought my attention fully back to the conversation.  Hard limits? Damn it.  I’ll show her hard limits. My dick twitched as blood rushed through it, hardening it slightly at the vivid image of her naked body writhing beneath mine.

Forcing my thoughts away from the red room, I stared at her untouched meal and sighed.  “Are you going to let another meal go to waste, Anastasia? You should at least eat your vegetables.”

Her cheeks flushed as she followed my gaze to her plate.  My jaw clenched as she bit her lower lip.  She knows what that does to me, and my dick fully hardened beneath the table.  I shifted in my seat and adjusted my legs in an attempt to give it more room in my slacks.  Taking a deep breath, I attempted to calm the sudden need to grab her out of that chair and push her face first over the table.

Anastasia rolled her eyes as she again told me that she wasn’t hungry.  Damn her, she doesn’t eat enough to feed a bird, and I hate skinny women.  I also hated people rolling their eyes at me. Sucking air through my teeth, sheer force of will kept me calm.

“When are you ever very hungry?” I muttered softly, unsure if she could even hear me.  I watched her narrow shoulders shrug as she bit her lip AGAIN! My breath caught as her eyes widened in fear before lowering her head to stare at her food. Grabbing a fork, she quickly speared something green and shoved it into her mouth.  As my erection grew painful, I imagined something better to shove into her mouth.

 

There you have it, and I spared us all the ridiculous Inner Goddess.  You’re welcome!

Advertisements

15 Layers Trilogy

Posted: December 7, 2017 in Erotica

You know what’s funny?  When you read one of your own books and it’s almost like reading something new.  I wrote the 15 layers trilogy years ago.  It was supposed to be fun and funny, and it was.  I literally laughed as I wrote it, since it was a catharsis to help me come to grips with that awful garbage 50 Shades of Grey.  It truly sucks when authors write and try to make it big and then some bimbo comes along who rips off a well known author and writes trashy fanfiction that appeals to the stupid masses. So she changes the names and gets it published.  And it makes millions.  I am envious of all that money, but I’m disgusted that such badly written trash would make that much money.

Sorry, I got off topic.  I recently read my 15 Layers trilogy and really enjoyed it.  It always surprises me when I read my own stuff and am proud of what I wrote.  I think it runs circles around 50SOG, but I’ll never make even make 1% of what that shit did.  Damn, I almost sunk to that level again.  LOL

So, if you would like to give my parody another look, please visit either smashwords and look me up, or here’s the link to it on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/15-Layers-Trilogy-dOnion-Deeper-ebook/dp/B00SK97B2S

Passengers – second thoughts

Posted: November 4, 2017 in Review
Tags:

I told you, this movie makes you think! I had a conversation with my sister about the ending, and she had an interesting idea. Knowing that they couldn’t have more than one child to prevent any incest, they would have put their son/daughter in hibernation at the age of 18. Then he/she would be able to live out his/her life on the new planet. I’m sure it would be hard for the child to know Aurora and Jim would be long dead by then, but it would be the best solution.

I have since come up with another solution that would have prevented Jim and Aurora from dying on the ship. Assuming they didn’t have children at all, they could have put each other temporarily into hibernation for a year or two at a time, to make the 88 years go by faster. That way they would both still be alive when they reached the planet, and they could spend their golden years there. For instance if each of them spent 2 years in hibernation and then spent 1 year together and then repeated that, 5 years would go by for every 3 each was awake. That would be 52.8 years instead of 88. Or, if they shortened that, maybe 1 year for each in hibernation and they only spent 3 months together, it would feel like only 48.9 passed. They could even have spent three months with each other between hibernations. So 1 year in hibernation, 3 months together, 1 year in hibernation for the other, and then 3 months together…etc. And that would only increase their awake time to 52.8 years, which is the same as the first scenario. Basically, the less time they spend with each other, the less they age. I figure this might be what they did after the “honeymoon” phase wore off. LOL

Passengers

Posted: March 9, 2017 in Review

I’ve been looking forward to watching Passengers for so long that when it finally came to Vudu, I stayed up until 11:00 on Monday night to watch it.  The movie didn’t do as well as it should have since the PC crowd didn’t like the hidden twist involved in how Aurora (Jennifer Lawrence) awoke from her hibernation pod.  Now, if you haven’t seen the movie, don’t read any further, since spoilers will be discussed.

To give a quick summary for those who don’t like to visit wikipedia, 5000 people are on their way to a new planet in hibernation aboard a spaceship for the 120 year trip.  30 years in, Jim (endearingly played by Chris Pratt) wakes up to discover he is the only one due to a malfunction.  He tries and fails to get his pod to put him back to sleep.  He gets depressed and almost kills himself before seeing Aurora in her pod.  He watches her videos and reads her articles and falls in love with her.  He doesn’t want to wake her, knowing he will trap her on the ship to eventually die, but he’s weak and the temptation is too strong.  Over the next year they fall in love until she finds out what he did. Then she’s furious, calls him a murderer and wants nothing to do with him.  Then one of the crew’s pod malfunctions, so there are now three, but he’s dying due to the way he woke up. Knowing he doesn’t have much time left, he gives them access to the bridge and medical.  They realize that the ship is doomed because of the malfunction that initially woke Jim, and it takes both he and Aurora to fix the ship, to save everyone.

Now before I go any further, it must be pointed out that if Jim had left Aurora in the pod (as the ridiculous PC crowd thinks), he couldn’t have saved the ship on his own.  Everyone, including Aurora, would have died in their sleep.  Keep that in mind.

Jim dies saving the ship, but Aurora uses the crewman’s ID and saves him in medical.  She realizes she loves him and can’t live without him, so she forgives what he did.  Knowing she still wants to live her life with all the others, he tells her that he’s figured out that the pod in medical can also hibernate, and he offers to put her back to sleep.  Aurora decides she doesn’t want to leave Jim, and they live their life on the ship until they die.

The movie ends 88 years later as the crew awakens to discover a changed ship, since Aurora and Jim planted trees and grass and turned the main concourse into a forest. I really enjoyed the movie, but the following things immediately jumped to mind:

  1. Did they have children?  Wouldn’t they? And what happened after those children grew up and survived their parents? Surely they must have procreated and had incestuous children, and those children would have done the same.  The ship would have been infested by possibly brain damaged adults/children.
  2. If they didn’t have children, one of them would have survived the other.  So is his/her rotting body lying somewhere to be found? What if one of them died by drowning or food poisoning? The other would have been stranded on his/her own until death.  The only other way i can think of is that the survivor wouldn’t want to live alone and would have jettisoned his/herself out of the airlock.  Depressing, huh?
  3. What if they fell out of love with each other after a few years? Or 10 or 20?  Would Jim still have been willing to put her into hibernation?  I would think this would have been the most likely scenario. I just don’t believe they were happy until they both died. It isn’t logical.  Or am I being cynical?

The movie makes you think. Well, it should, unless you’re a PC fanatic, then all you can think about is how evil Jim is for waking Aurora.  They demonize him as if he’s a rapist, but he wanted companionship.  She made the first move, and he never forced her to do anything.  But the PC crowd compares her feelings for Jim to Stockholm syndrome. For those who don’t know what that means, it’s how kidnapped people fall for their kidnappers, which is a load of rubbish.  Jim is just as trapped as Aurora is.  She didn’t even really have a purpose. She left her friends behind and planned on going to the new planet and then go back to Earth, so she could write an article about her experiences.  Nothing in her plan really changes. She ends up writing a book about her experiences, which is probably more exciting than what she initially planned. Besides, if Jim didn’t wake her, everyone would have died!

Could the movie have been better?  Possibly, but it’s just pathetic that it didn’t do better because too many ignorant people have bought into the ridiculous notion of being politically correct.  That is the travesty here, not Jim’s decision to wake up Aurora.

River Runs

Posted: February 18, 2017 in Uncategorized

I just published a new short story. This time it’s in 2 parts.  I pushed all the politically correct boundaries in this story. It will either piss off everyone or make them laugh. Not sure if it’s a satire or not, and I’m not sure if I should continue it or not.  If I get enough interest, I might, since I have an idea of where I will take it.  If I get time, I might start writing my idea, so it won’t go away. If it turns out well, you’ll know when/if it gets published. For now, enjoy what’s on Smashwords. The first half is free and only 99 cents for the second half.

https://www.smashwords.com/books/byseries/27973

Be the heroine of your own story

Posted: December 19, 2016 in Erotica

I had an idea this morning, so I’ll share it with you.  How would you like to be the heroine of your own erotic story?  You provide me with your first name and the name of your favorite hero, along with the fantasy plot, and I’ll write you a story.  There is no set length, but it will be at least 2,000 words up to 5,000.  So let me know your fantasy situation, and I’ll write if for you.  What’s the cost?  Let’s start with $1.49 and see how it goes.

I’m still working out how I’ll list it on Smashwords, since they want an actual story.  Maybe I’ll just publish the instructions and contact information and then send finished story to a provided email.

I’ll put some thought into it, so stay tuned.

Worse things than rape

Posted: December 9, 2015 in Smut

I just read some 1 star reviews of my poem, 10 Things Worse than Rape.  For those of you who would like to read them, here is the direct link on Itunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/ten-things-worse-than-rape/id714747294?mt=11

I smiled as I read those negative reviews. Why? Because these ladies are why I wrote the poem to begin with.  Without fail, there will always be some female who thinks that having a dick shoved into her without her express approval is far worse than any other possible horrible outcome.  I will never be able to wrap my mind around a woman who feels this way.  Sex is not the worst thing that can happen.  If the rapist is violent, the beatings or torture would be far worse than the actual rape act.  If you don’t agree, stop thinking your pussy is lined with gold!