Let’s talk about 50 Shades, but screw calm and rational

Posted: October 6, 2013 in Review

OK, the gloves are coming off.  I stumbled upon this gem while lurking around Jenny Trout’s site: http://jennytrout.wordpress.com/2013/02/03/lets-talk-about-50-shades-in-a-calm-and-rational-way/

It pisses me off that she feels she must defend her reasons for admitting this trilogy is atrocious crap.  And that isn’t an opinion people.  It is CRAP, and that’s a FACT!  The fact that you people who defend this shit don’t realize it, means you are too messed up in the head to realize something is majorly wrong with you.  So here is what I’m going to do.  I’m going to go through and answer all the questions Jenny answered, but I will not be as diplomatic as she was.

It’s just fiction/entertainment! Why are you so mad?

Fiction? OK, I’ll go for that, but entertainment?  If you find something as vile as the way Christian treats Ana as entertainment, then go crawl back under your rock.  I’m mad because it scares me that so many women are swooning over this monster.  Maybe this is why it took so long for women to gain the same rights as men, because we (as a gender) are too damn stupid to be trusted to make the right decisions.  All you women who want to be Ana and “cared” for by a man like Christian?  You all are admitting you want a man to abuse you, as long as he is rich, gorgeous and sexy.  That idea makes me want to vomit.  THAT is why I’m so mad.

Okay, but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad book. That doesn’t mean it’s responsible for Domestic Violence.

Who the fuck said this trash is responsible for domestic violence?  That existed as far back as…well, forever.  Cavemen saw a woman they wanted, they would hit her on the head with a club, drag her away by her hair and then rape the shit out of her. We are supposed to be advanced beyond that, but you bimbos who love Christian Grey are just sending a neon beacon to all the neanderthal men out there that you still like that.  BRAVO!

So, no one should ever write anything, because someone might emulate it and get hurt?

If what you want to write might emulate someone to get hurt, then maybe you should crawl back under your rock.  No, that isn’t even the issue. I couldn’t give a shit less if some stupid woman reads this and tells her husband or boyfriend she wants him to be Christian, so he beats the shit out of her.  If she likes it, well, that’s her issue, but again, Ana never likes that in any of the books.  She just wants Christian to love her, like that is even possible.  The man is such a wreck, he can’t possibly know what love is.

Well, what do you want, then?

I want Stephanie Meyer to grow a pair and take EL James to court, asking for an injunction to stop selling books/movies based on fan fiction of HER work. That shit isn’t supposed to be allowed.  Too bad she didn’t do it in the first place before so many millions of women disappointed me about my own gender.  I don’t even know if I want to continue writing erotic fiction for women, since obviously I won’t write what they crave: a leading man who is such an abusive asshole!  YUCK!

But why? E.L. James doesn’t owe anyone anything, and it’s not her fault if someone reads her book and does something stupid. Besides, she wrote it for herself and for people who “get it.”

People who get it?  Who, idiots like you?  If EL James wrote this as her own personal fantasy, then she is as messed up as the rest of you bimbos.  But here’s the rub, people. Unless I’m wrong, EL hated Twilight, and she started writing Master of the Universe as a spoof of that series.  But the idiots who liked it weren’t smart enough to realize it, so she just went with it, probably laughing her ass off the whole time.  And now she’s laughing her ass off all the way to the bank, making over $1.3 million a week thanks to brainless women who have no personality of their own, and can’t recognize a joke when they read it.  If it wasn’t being taken so seriously be EVERYONE, I would think it was funny too.  But the truth is, all the millions of people who love this shit think it’s for real!  THAT IS DEPRESSING THE HELL OUT OF ME!

It’s not abuse, it’s BDSM!  You just don’t understand kink!

I don’t think YOU understand kink.  I’m pretty sure both people have to be in agreement with what is going on, and both be turned on by it.  Ana spends the whole trilogy tied up in emotional knots. She doesn’t like it, merely tolerates it because she somehow convinced herself that she was madly in love with this asshole within weeks of meeting him.

So, the only thing you’re mad about is that E.L. James won’t tell people not to try this at home?

This doesn’t apply to me, so I won’t bother answering it.  Besides, I’m so mad about the whole thing, I laugh at the idea of only being mad about that one issue.  I don’t care what anyone does in the privacy of their own bedroom.  I just don’t want to know about it.

You’re just putting words in her mouth! You don’t know if that’s what she meant. She could have just said it wrong.

You could be right here, since I don’t think ELJ meant anything bad about her shit trilogy. Like I said, it was meant to make fun of Twilight. It was never supposed to stand on its own.

It’s not like she said that to a survivor directly. She probably does worry about those women.

Considering how I read that ELJ was a total bitch to Twilight fans before she was famous, I sincerely doubt she gives two shits about anyone now, let alone abuse survivors.

What do you get out of defending this woman and her books?

Since this was a question directed at Jenny’s readers, I will also ask the question, even though I know my readership is dismal.  LOL  It is a valid question. If I was one of the screwed up women out there who was in love with Christian, I would hope I wouldn’t be so quick to admit it.  I might need to evaluate what is wrong with my life that I would be attracted to such a man.  Maybe get professional help?  I know I’ll never understand why women are so turned on by these books or by Christian.  The sex is average at best. I’ve read and written better. I like strong men who protect their women.  I’ve even liked Vikings in historical romances.  Bossing around a woman on occasion is great in the right context.  But nothing about how Christian treats Ana is right.  So yeah, those of us who feel strongly about this will speak up.  Unfortunately, our anger and passion merely fuels EL James’ bank account, since more and more people want to find out what is so shocking. Have you morons never heard of a library?  Or borrow from one of your idiotic friends?  Please stop making this woman even richer!

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