Archive for September, 2013

There are two things that many erotica authors seem to gravitate towards: gay and anal sex. To me those are one in the same. Why?  Because if a man wants to screw someone in the ass, what does it matter the sex? All humans have assholes, so if he wants to stick it there, he shouldn’t care about the gender.  So yeah, gay and anal sex go hand in hand.

In my parody trilogy I did include a bit of back door action, because it was in 50 Shades Freed, so I had to at least put in a scene with a butt plug. But I personally don’t see a butt plug as offensive as actually putting a dick there.  For one thing, a plug is a hell of a lot smaller and can’t lead to too much damage. After all, there is a reason why anal sex is the leading cause of the spread of HIV.  Cocks rip up ass holes, causing tears, which allow disease to enter the body. Um, hello, did that sink in?  This bitch will never allow a guy’s dick up her ass.  My husband accidentally (at least I hope it was an accident) went in the wrong hole one time we were both drunk, and I immediately dropped to the fetal position from the pain.  HELL NO!  Never again, and that was just the head of his dick.  My ass is an off ramp for crap leaving my body. It will never have a “Welcome home” sign hanging on it.  Other than the occasional finger and maybe some day a plug, aint nothing going up there…EVER!

Enough said about that, but gay sex is even worse, at least between two men. I won’t even discuss lesbian sex, since admit it, all they can do is go down on each other and use toys.  Not much to explore there, but men can use their dicks on each other.  Again, it’s an off ramp, not a welcome sign, but other than the mouth it’s the only hole gays have to play with.  So it’s pretty much a given.  But since the concept of anal sex is so repugnant to me, the idea of two men fucking just makes it that much worse.  I read a gay erotic short one time out of curiosity. And while the writing was good and the story interesting, I laughed out loud at one of the dumbest things I could read.  I don’t know if the author was serious or just thought maybe that was the appeal for men being gay, but during the sex with a lumberjack of a guy with a huge schlong, he reached so deep that the guy had an out of body experience from the combination of pain and blissful pleasure (yeah right). But the thing that made me roll my eyes was the comment that only a man could understand this feeling from another man.  So I guess if a woman had a man screwing her ass so deep she could feel it at the back of her tonsils, she couldn’t understand that feeling?  Because she wasn’t a man?  Really?  After all, I thought our colons were pretty  much put together the same way. You  know, as human beings?  Maybe I’m wrong.  I know we don’t have a prostate, but I’m pretty certain that is close to the opening, not way back up inside there.  To top that off, this shit doesn’t turn me on.  It turns me off, so I will never understand why so many women like to write, let alone read, gay male erotica.  But then, I don’t understand why so many women swoon over Christian Grey.  You gals are a bunch of sickos.  Just sayin’!

15 Layers Trilogy paperback is available!

Posted: September 22, 2013 in Erotica

You can now order the paperback version of the entire trilogy on Createspace at the following link:

Wow, it’s already on Amazon for all you Prime account holders.  It’s also 40 cents cheaper there.  Here is the link:

15 Layers Trilogy soon to be paperback!

Posted: September 21, 2013 in Erotica

I’ve decided to make this wonderfully gripping story a paperback. Createspace has great deals on their POD books, so I just submitted it for review. Once it’s available, it will cost $7.99 for the whole trilogy. While you have to buy the 3 installments separately online, I’ve put all of them together for the paperback. So no, I’m not a greedy ho like ELJ, who expects about that much per copy of her atrocious crap!  UGH!  What amazes me is that all three of those books are in Amazon’s top 100 Kindle books!  What is wrong with you people?!

Anyway, I’ll post the link as soon as it’s available.  Since they upload to Amazon, the book will also be available there. For any of you who have Prime (like I do), you’ll be able to get the book for free shipping.  That’s always a bonus!

15 Layers Trilogy is on Amazon

Posted: September 20, 2013 in Erotica

Well, I couldn’t wait for Smashwords to approve my 15 Layers trilogy for their premium catalog, so I went ahead and published them on Amazon.  Of course, I can’t list the first installment for free, but that will continue to be free on Smashwords as well as all their channels (once it’s approved and distributed in a week or two).

Anyway, here is the direct link to my books on Amazon

50 Shades of Grey Parody

Posted: September 18, 2013 in Erotica, Review, Smut

It really never occurred to me until yesterday to check the internet to see if there are other 50 Shades of Grey parodies before I wrote mine. Yes, for those few who might be wondering and weren’t able to figure it out, THAT is the story I’m spoofing in my 15 Layers Trilogy.  I know, it was so HARD to figure out.

Of course I knew about the 50 Sheds of Grey, but that isn’t the same thing as I what I did.  I wanted to make a romance with similar characters in sort of similar situations and make them incredibly stupid.  Because that is how I see the original trilogy. It’s stupid. At least in my trilogy, they’re honest about it.

Since I’m not advertising my story at all, I hope a little word of mouth helps get a bit of interest going about it.  After all, it only costs $1.98 total to read my little spoof, while there are people out there forking out $45 to read 50 Shades trilogy in hardback.  Dang, it must be nice to have so much disposable cash.  I must say I am quite proud that not a dime of my money has helped increase EL James’ coffers.  Yes, I will eventually watch the train wreck the movie will be, but I’ll rent it for a buck at Redbox, so she still won’t get a penny. At least I don’t think Redbox has to share that dollar with the author, since they will pay outright for the DVD they will eventually rent to me any other rubberneckers who choose to rent it.

Not that I have any ill will toward EL James.  Other than her being allowed to take a fanfiction, change the names and publish it, since that is supposed to be against the rules.  But oh well, more power to her.
No, the people I hold ill will toward are the stupid suckers who made EL James rich.  I tortured myself on the first installment, and I suffered through Jenny Trout’s recaps so I could be more informed for my spoof, so I know how messed up these books are.  And for all those millions out there buying and loving the 50 Shades trilogy?  You are messed up in the head. If it were just a few thousand of you, I could easily live with that, since there will always be unbalanced people, but when there are literally millions of them out there, living beside us?  THAT SCARES THE SHIT OUT ME.

Writing my parody was cathartic.  I laughed and snickered and almost felt better about all this mess while I wrote it.  It made me feel good to make fun of it.  That is the only way I can manage to get my head around its popularity.

So there you have it. That is why I wrote it.  Feel free to read it and let me know what you think.  It will be available all over the web soon, including Amazon, though they won’t offer the first installment free.  If you only shop there, let them know where it’s free elsewhere, and maybe they will price match.

15 Layers Trilogy

Posted: September 16, 2013 in Erotica

Hi to those few of you who actually visit.  🙂

My parody erotic BDSM trilogy is finished and live on Smashwords. Here is the link:

I will have these sent to all the channels that Smashwords uses, including Barnes & Noble.  It might take awhile for it to be available on Amazon though. The first installment is free, and the other two are only 99 cents each. So basically you can get the whole thing for only $1.98.



Posted: September 11, 2013 in Erotica

I have a few things up for your enjoyment at Smashwords.  You can see them at the following link: